What is wrong with your baby? It looks weird. (Note: there is nothing wrong with it. It just isn't cute)

If you weren't in junior high, I'd tell you to get a room already. Goodness sakes, you can't even go out on a date yet.

Did you adopt, did the father leave, did you get AI, did you have a one night stand? Exactly where did this kid come from?

Yep, bitchiness does come through in text form.

I guess when you don't have your daddy's lawyer money backing you up, you ain't shit, are ya Mr. Best Rancher on the Planet?

Are you gay? "In a relationship", no males in any pictures, a ring on your left hand but not on the ring finger and a comment someone left about sicking your friend on the person who gave you a black eye in a softball game. If so, I bet you wish you could take back your judgmental condescension about me being too hung over to go to Mass with you in college.

Jeez, if that is what I look like after losing 34 pounds, I must have looked horrible before.