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This ain't far from happening, folks

November 20th, 2008 at 06:57 am

Supreme Court Upholds Bill Of Rights In 5-4 Decision

November 14, 2008
WASHINGTON—In a landmark decision Monday, the U.S. Supreme Court narrowly ruled to uphold the Bill of Rights, the very tenets upon which American society is based. "After carefully considering the relevance of the 10 inviolable rights that comprise the ideological foundation on which our nation is built, the court finds that these basic freedoms remain important for the time being, and should not be overturned," read the majority opinion authored by Justice Anthony Kennedy, who cast the tie-breaking vote. "Until such time as it can be definitively proven that citizens no longer require the protections provided by the Bill of Rights, it shall remain the principal legal guidance for the United States of America." The Supreme Court's latest decision comes on the heels of last month's 6-3 ruling to abolish the pursuit of happiness from the three inalienable rights guaranteed by the Declaration of Independence.

6 Responses to “This ain't far from happening, folks”

  1. Alice K Says:

    It saddens me that the decision was so close, it should have been unanimous.

  2. Analise Says:

    Alice K - The Onion is a "fake news" organization. This was written as satire and did not happen.

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Actually, I feel my rights are going to be a LOT safer come January!

  4. cptacek Says:

    Oh, sorry Alice K. That is why I bolded theonion in the URL.

    ceejay, why do you think your rights are going to be safer?

  5. ceejay74 Says:

    Because all the homeland security acts were used to invade everyday citizens' privacy and erode our rights (hello wiretapping). Because Bush and Cheney took on way too much power, some of it unconstitutional, and people were afraid to challenge them. Because free speech was not encouraged over the last 8 years, with people getting labeled "un-American" or "terrorist" or worse if they dared dissent against the crazy unilateralism that went on. Because supposed Christian doctrine was used to guide executive decisions, rather than law and logic. Because Muslim became a bad word, and atheist even worse, over the past 8 years. Because I don't fit into a narrow definition of anything, and I need an expansive mind to govern this country, so it can encompass me as well as all my more-conventional friends without stepping on any of our rights.

  6. cptacek Says:

    hmm. Well, ceejay, we'll see, I guess. I'm worried about some pretty big ones you think I am right to worry? I am worried about our 2nd amendment rights. I'm worried about our free speech rights, such that if we speak out against Obama's policies we will be labeled racist (which has happened and will continue to happen). I'm afraid that some of the things that have kept us safe for the past 7 years will be rolled back and the military downsized even more and we will be attacked again. I'm afraid that every restriction against abortion will be lifted and anyone (including underage girls, without parental notification) can have one at any time, up to and including infanticide, and my money will help pay for it. I'm afraid that being Catholic will become a bad word. I'm afraid that all personal responsibility will be thrown out the window and people will expect the government to provide house payments, car payments, food and a clothing allowance. I'm afraid that no new viable sources of energy will be produced, but a lot of my money will be thrown at the latest fad that is not viable. I'm afraid that all production agriculture will be legislated out of business.

    Am I wrong to worry about these things?

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